Tuesday, October 19, 2004

He Who Hates, Loves

I owe every regular reader of this blog an official Big-Ass Apology. I re-read yesterday's entry and realized that it was almost total gibberish.

Usually, when you write something, its a good idea to edit it. That way your misspellings are kept down to a dull roar, the bad syntax is shaven away, the diction is cleaned up. I did none of these things yesterday, and sure enough it looks like Corky from Life Goes On wrote the entry.

No, not that Corky.

Anyway, in the interest of self-flagellation, here's what I should have done to yesterday's post:

"Last night's gig at the Common Ground in Allston (just outside of Boston) was... interesting. They were broadcasting the Boston/NY game previous to when Anne was set to start. So... as you can imagine, based on how much of a wash the game was, it was an interesting night." I used the word "interesting" twice in three sentences. The second sentence is just awkward - should have been "The Boston/NY game was being shown previous to the beginning of Anne's set." Even that's not really satisfactory. "After the Sox got creamed (and really, they got creamed), the crowd wasn't very interested in dancing. There were a couple of surly, drunken Sox fans who even made menacing gestures towards Anne when she started performing, because they turned the sound off of the game around the eighth inning." I should have more clearly established that they turned the game's sound off in the eighth-inning because the game was pretty hopeless at that point, and even a die-hard would have to admit there was no way the Sox we're going to find ten runs in the space of a single inning. "Sheer masochism - do they like sitting around and cutting themselves with razor blades, too? I don't take kindly to people who want to throw beer bottles at my wife." This just wasn't a very well-constructed paragraph, all things considered. The sentences just seem to be thrown out at random, with no regard for any sort of structure. Who wrote this shit? Oh, I did...

"But it wasn't all bad. It was very quiet after the game crowd filtered out, because even though there was a slight influx of people later on in the night, it was still very subdued." Come on! I said the same thing twice in the same sentence! Plus, its slightly confusing - if there was a second influx of people, why was it sitll subdued if the original, depressed crowd had mostly left at that point? This just keeps getting worse. "Anne met a couple of people who were really digging her, though, which is always satisfying. This one guy was really appreciative, btu he was also very gay, so I didn't feel too threatened." You people shouldn't have to wade through a pile of "btu"s and "teh"s to understand what I'm saying. This ain't a propane blog.

"I just have one more question. Say you're a New York fan and your team is playing Boston in a heated playoff game. Why would you go to a crowded bar/club that you knew would be packed full of inebriated Sox fans? Do you have a death wish, or what? They left around the sixth inning, however, leaving very quietly." Come on - "leave" and "left" in the same sentence. How redundant. This was obviously written by a dislexic third-grader. "The hundred-and-fifty or so inebriated and violent Sox fans stopped being amused by the eight Yankee fans' joyous outbursts when the score got to 18-9. It would have been a fight if they hadn't known when to quit - those same mooks who wanted to pummel my wife would have seen to that." That was just very awkwardly phrased.

What can I say? I'll try to be better. I'm sorry. I am a bad blogger. Bad! Bad!


DC Solicitations are up, for those who care. I am just happy to see that Plastic Man is still being published. If I had any extra dough, I'd run a contest for the book, because I think it is that good, and that deserving of your hard-earned sheckles - but I can barely afford to buy the book myself. So you will just have to take my word for it. A number of people have already done so, and they haven't regretted it (I think).

Also, while the Adventures of Superman solicit doesn't seem to have given away any Identity Crisis spoilers, the solicit for the Teen Titans book mentions very plainly that Lex Luthor's armor is a major plot point in the series. Meaning Lex Luthor plays a part. Meaning, Luthor is probably the murderer, or in charge of the murders. Which is only what I said three months ago.

Rejected Breakfast Cereal Mascots
(Number 4 in an ongoing Series)

The iguana is in your mind.

Ignatz the Abstract-Expressionist Iguana

"Trying To See The Iguana Is Merely A Vestigial Impulse Of The Euro-Centric Aesthetic Fascism Of Representative Imagery – But If There Was An Iguana, He’d Sure Love To Eat These Delicious Fruity Flakes!"

I don’t know why this one didn’t fly. Kids love modern art. Perhaps there was a licensing snafu.

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