Yes, as I promised, it is now time for The Hurting’s very first contest.
Have you ever wanted to tell me that I’m full of shit, but just didn’t have the energy to bother? Have you ever read one of my editorials or reviews and said to yourself, “That Tim O’Neil is so full of shit I bet his eyes are dark brown!” Well, now’s your chance to tell me just how full of shit you think I am – and win cool prizes in the process!
One Grand Prize Winner will walk away with a brand-spankin’ new, pristine unread mint copy of DK Book’s recent DC Comics Encyclopedia. Yes, you read that correctly. This book carries a forty-dollar price tag, but it could be yours, and all for the price of a well-reasoned or witty insult to yours truly.
The First Runner-Up is going to walk away with a copy of Ait/Planet-Lar’s collection of Warren Ellis’ Come In Alone essays. This groundbreaking book retails for $16.95, but it can be yours for the cost of a sweet, sweet put-down.
The Second Runner-Up gets a copy of Oni Press’ compilation of Andi Watson’s Breakfast Afternoon. This sweet volume carried a retail price of $19.95, but again, you could walk home with this book for the measly price of taking the piss out of moi.
Want to enter? Here’s what you do:
Send an e-mail to timoneilisfullofit at hotmail dot com detailing why I am full of shit. It can be of any length – no minimum or maximum. You can reference any article, review or commentary I have ever written, or just rant about my general pissy outlook if you want. Just make it good.
The winners will be picked by the world’s leading expert in my being full of shit, yes, My Wife. Her decisions will be final and her criteria for picking the winners will be totally up to her. She knows me best, so she gets to be the final judge as to just why the hell I suck.
No purchase is necessary, obviously (although tips are always appreciated!). The contest will run for the duration of two weeks. Any entries accepted after Midnight, November 10 will be disqualified. Employees of DK Publishing, Ait/Planet Lar and Oni Press are disqualified from winning, but they should feel free to enter. Enter as many times as you like. Profanity is always encouraged, but My Wife reserves the right to disqualify (delete) any entry on the basis of it pissing her off. Please include your mailing address and full legal name with every entry.
Winners will be chosen no later than one week after the final deadline, after which time the winners will be announced on this blog and the prizes will be mailed in short order.
This contest comes to you courtesy of the fine people at DK Publishing, AiT/Planet-Lar, and Oni Press. They’re all fine folks and you should tip your hat to them for providing the booty for this here contest.
Now come on, tell me I’m full of shit. You know you want to.