Thursday, December 06, 2007

To All My Homies in Hollywood

So, you've got this strike thing going. I'll bet you're pretty desperate for some scripts with which to make movies, right? Well, I've got a few doozies for you, and I'd be perfectly willing to scab for cheap.

"The Good Old Days" (tentative title)

Horror movie with a senior citizen serial killer. By day he pretends to be an Alzheimers-addled septuagenarian, but by night he prowls the city for fresh victims.

"Fast and the Furious" sequel

This once-solid franchise has fallen on hard times. The new installment introduces us to Ray, the hot-shot king of the late-night urban racing world. One night everything changes forever, however, as a race goes terribly wrong, resulting in a highway crash at 110 miles an hour. The other driver dies instantly, but Ray survives as a paraplegic. He is found guilty of manslaughter and sent to prison, where by day he endures grueling rehabilitative physical therapy and by night he is tormented by endless, gnawing guilt. Will he find the will to live in the harsh environment of a maximum security federal penitentiary?


In the vein of "Patch Adams" and "Ray" - a John Wayne Gacy biopic focusing not on his exploits as a serial killer but on his overlooked clown career. A natural fit for "America's Funnyman", Robin Williams.

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