Friday, August 14, 2009

Yes, This is A Lazy Post With No Relevance to Anything

But it's been a lazy, irrelevant week.

Top Ten Dance Songs of the 90s
(More or Less off the Top of my Head)

10. The Shamen - Ebeneezer Goode (1992)

OK, you can make a good argument that it's not the Shamen's best song - and sure, you've got "Move Any Mountain" as a likely contender for that crown. But hey, it got the phrase "E's are good" onto the pop charts at the height of anti-rave hysteria. Wikipedia refers to it as "perceived subliminal endorsement of recreational drug use" - well, shit, listen and judge for yourself. It didn't just hit number #1 on Radio One, it was #1 for four weeks. Plus: how many songs can say they received remixes from both Richie Hawtin and Meat Beat Manifesto?

9. Armand van Helden feat. Roland Clark - Flowerz (1998)

It's fitting that, since Prince wrote some of the best dance songs of the 80s, at least one of the best dance songs of the 90s would be a blatant Prince pastiche.

8. Fatboy Slim - Acid 8000 (1998)

Would you like to know why "Higher State of Consciousness" is absent? This is why, this is better. "It's so easy to get acid, you can get it anywhere."

7. The Prodigy - No Good (Start the Dance) (1994)

You can argue that, yeah, "Charlie" was ubiquitous, "Out of Space" is still a headfuck, "Voodoo People" is anthemic, "Firestarter" is undeniable, etc. But in terms of sheer danceability - well, this shit is nitroglycerine. Let's not even mention the CJ Bolland remix, which is actually mentioned in article 16 of the Geneva Convention.

6. Model 500 (Juan Atkins) - I Wanna Be There (1995)

The Originator: 'nuff said.

5. Orbital - Halcyon (1992)

Notice I didn't say "+On+On". That's a fine song but the never-reprinted original is, well, more better, and not just because it's as rare as hens' teeth. Yeah, it's obvious, but there's a reason why it's obvious: because it's undeniable.

4. Leftfield feat. John Lydon - Open Up (1993)

I never have been able to warm up to PIL, but if there must be a John Lydon, post-Sex Pistols, he should always be screaming that he's "bigger than God". (He's not, of course, that's #1.) The Chemical Brothers remix still kills, too.

3. Underworld - Born Slippy Nuxx (1995)

The same logic behind "Halcyon" and "Open Up" applies here: yeah, they're the obvious picks, but they're obvious for a good reason. The fact that Underworld recorded easily a dozen songs last decade that could fit snugly on this list speaks volumes - but the reason this one sneaks in over "Cowgirl" or "Rez" or "Pearl's Girl" or "Moaner" is the fact that even your mother knows that opening synth riff. Hell, your grandmother might even recognize it.

2. The Chemical Brothers - Hey Boy Hey Girl (1999)

The perfect anthem for the end of the Willennium. Seriously, picking one's favorite Chemical Brothers single is a horrible Sophie's Choice - but when it comes to dancefloor-demolishing raw power, there is really no other option. Presented here in its natural habitat, live. I was present at this very show.

1. Daft Punk - Alive (1997)

Try to beat it: you can't. It's bigger than God.

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