Monday, April 30, 2007

The Great Comic Book Covers



Uncanny X-Men #251


So - let me get this straight. You're going to take the X-Men, Marvel's flagship title, and totally dismantle it? You're going to have the X-Men die on national television so that the whole world thinks they're dead? Move to the Australian outback? Have the team slowly disnitegrate as they are pulled apart by both external menaces and internal pressures? Even though the world already thinks they're all dead, kill them again, giving them amnesia this time so that not even they know who they are? Make Storm a ten-year old girl? Collosus a gay painter living in the East Village? Have the Mandarin turn Psylocke into a Asian ninja? Have Wolverine crucified in Christ-fashion after being brutally beaten and tortured for multiple issues? Sounds like a plan... er, wait a minute? What was that about the whole Wolverine being crucified in Christ-like fashion? Did Logan die for our sins?

Anyway, how long is this storyline going to run? Sounds like a bit of a downer, probably best not to draw it out for too long. What's that? The better part of five years, you say? Sounds like a plan, let's see how long we can put out the most turgid, depressing and disjointed comics possible before people call us on our shit. What's that, they'll never actually get sick of it? Sales will shoot through the roof? Yippee!

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