The Unbearable Lightness of Being Chris Eigeman



Alas poor Jason,
Fastidious friend. The fix
Was in. One season.

Set up for a fall.
God forbid anyone get
In the way of Luke.

Luke: a man of wood,
Cardboard cut-out, fantasy
Lover for the dull.

Jason Stiles we knew
Ye not, an interesting
Man, funny and sad.

Stars Hollow is a
Playground for depressed housewives,
A wish for stasis.

A catalog of
Ignominy for Marxists
Who still watch despite.

Jason Stiles, rose to
Find the toilet and never
Returned, Luke's patsy.

Luke Danes: fated to
Marry Lorelai despite
His stupidity.

Let's see: child of wealth,
Upwardly mobile, chooses
To marry hobo.

Change your damn flannel
Shirt, I don't believe you were
Married to lawyer.

If you were, I can
See why she cheated on you
With SUV dude.

But Lorelai, girl,
Don't turn your back on Jason,
Not illiterate.

He was in movies
Directed by Whit Stillman,
Metropolitan.

Barcelona, too.
The Last Days of Disco, an
Underrated gem.

Unsung star, shine on
In our hearts forever more,
Your elegance, wit.

In a tuxedo
In my dreams you glide, a man
Refined, supple, smooth.

However, I will
Not watch Maid in Manhattan:
Dignity too cheap.