NERDAPOCALYPSE

OK, apparently the "What Is Archie Reacting To?" meme did not conquer the blogosphere. Which just proves that you all suck, except for anyone who has given me money or bought items through my Amazon links. You are all wonderful people, thank you very much.

But now, the time has come, when we must put aside childish things and walk amongst the fields as Men. And as Men we must pit out useless comics trivia against one another in mortal combat.

1) When did Peter Parker lose his virginity? I suspect most people will say "Gwen Stacy" (anyone who says "on his wedding night" gets a boobie prize), but anyone who can make a legitimate case for Mary Jane or Betty Brant gets extra points. ("Face it Tiger, you just hit the Jackpot, because I put out!")

2) Can Superman tap into the "Speed Force"? If not, why not? Show your work.

3) In the mid-80s the idea was floated that Ben's inability to change into human form from the Thing was mostly psychosomatic, stemming from his low self-esteem and belief that Alicia would cease to love him if he were normal. Has this ever been mentioned in the years since?

4) True or False: Superman should be able to lift Thor's hammer. Show your work.

5) At the end of the second Kree / Skrull war in Steve Englehart's Silver Surfer, the Kree Empire was ruled by a bumbling space pirate named Clumsy Foulup. This short-lived status-quo came to an end with Silver Surfer #53, when a Kree junta led by Ael-Dann and Dar-Benn took advantage of the confusion caused by Thanos wiping out half the universe with the Infinity Gauntlet to kill Foulup with a SIlver Surfer robot. From that point on and until the Kree defeat in the Kree / Shi'ar war, Ael-Dann and Dar-Benn ruled the empire. However, as the events of their coup took place during the Infinity Gauntlet crisis, all events must have been erased when Adam Warlock used to Gauntlet to reset time to before Thanos killed half the universe. And yet, it's never been mentioned how, in the absence of that turmoil, Ael-Dann and Dar-Benn replaced Clumsy Foulup in the first place. This has been bugging me for fifteen years. Come on, people.