Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Menace II Society

If you're like me you've probably noticed, in the past six months or so, a sharp increase in the surplus giraffe population. Whereas before, due to selective hunting permits and vigorous animal control measures, the giraffes were mainly restricted from encroaching on urban areas; as the giraffe population has exploded, so too have the giraffes become emboldened.

Used to be you could set a few traps for the season and not have to worry any further about the problem. But now it's growing worse. It's especially bad for folks such a myself who use the humane traps. Trapping a giraffe and releasing them in the woods is next to useless -- with those long legs of theirs they can be back in the city -- and knocking over my trash cans -- by suppertime. Just the other week a friend of mine at work totalled their car after swerving to avoid a giraffe running across the road.

This is an unusual problem that calls for unusual solutions. I can't help but thinking that whomever finally manages to concoct a solution to our giraffe problem is going to make a great deal of money.

And once they deal with the giraffes, it'll be time to move on to Public Enemy #2:

Be afraid, America -- be very afraid.

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