Friday, January 05, 2007

I'm Wicked and I'm Lazy

[01:29] DeathGar3000: hey, you know what's better than Speedball? Dark 'n' Gritty Speedball!
[01:53] m4775c11: yeah I saw that. it was uh, somethin.
[02:12] m4775c11: ok... that Vampire comic... that was... that was painful.
[02:13] DeathGar3000: yep
[02:13] DeathGar3000: see, don't I know 'em?
[02:15] m4775c11: like, for much of it the words not only didn't go with the panels, but didn't go with anything, even each other.
[02:15] DeathGar3000: I am surprised you never encountered the Anita Blake books... I had a grilfriend about a year ago who was obsessed with them
[02:19] DeathGar3000: apparently the later books - and there are, like, dozens... just devolve into hardcore sex between vampires and werewolves
[02:24] m4775c11: I think I've heard the name, fleetlingly.
[02:25] m4775c11: I seem to remember thinking something like: what's that, some kinda Buffy ripoff?
[02:26] DeathGar3000: hah
[02:26] DeathGar3000: it's for lonely women for whom Anne Rice was too "softcore"
[02:35] m4775c11: heh. so I gathered.
[03:04] DeathGar3000: so I did something the other day which I had not done in many years
[03:11] m4775c11: heh. that's too easy a setup...
[03:12] DeathGar3000: watched the OG triology in one sitting
[03:13] m4775c11: ah, you know, I don't think I've watched any of them since Episode I came out.
[03:14] DeathGar3000: I had to go out and get the new editions with the unmolested films as "bonus" material
[03:14] m4775c11: I've been meaning to get a pizza and some alcohol and watch the widescreen thx laserdisc rips for awhile now, but meh.
[03:15] DeathGar3000: but I watched the special editions... you know, the special edition of Empire is really good, and I guess some of the added FX shots in A New Hope are good (I do think they went back and made Jabba fatter) but . . . well, they just sort of took a big fat shit all over Return of the Jedi
[03:16] m4775c11: heh. I don't even remember what they added...
[03:17] DeathGar3000: harmonica playing CGI muppets in Jabba's palace
[03:17] DeathGar3000: a big old giant vagina for the pit of Karkoom
[03:18] DeathGar3000: they totally changed the final sequence, taking out the old skool fun ewok music with some enya type shit that was just... horrific
[03:20] m4775c11: oh yeah. I remembered the non-yubyub ending sequence but I forgot the other stuff.
[03:21] m4775c11: I mean, damn, we were nerds. like, being able to see through the Twilek girl's net shirt thing... that was all we had back in the day, you know?
[03:21] DeathGar3000: but you know, watching it this time around I gained a new appreciation for the ewoks. everyone always talks about how they were silly teddy bears who weren't very threatening... but they actually fought really intelligently, just like guerillas in a modern resistance. trip or otherwise incapacitate your foe, then swarm them with superior numbers and essentially stab them a hundred times.
[03:21] DeathGar3000: that is pretty scary, actually.
[03:22] m4775c11: well, the Ewoks were the Russians after all.
[03:24] DeathGar3000: I mean, one dude with a blaster against one, two, three ewoks... not much of a fight. but a few dozen dudes fighting in uneven territory against hundreds of indigenous critters who, while definitely having a disadvantage in terms of technology, outnumbered and outfought the opposition at every term on terrain they'd mastered over the course of hundreds of generations....
[03:24] DeathGar3000: wow, no wonder we'
[03:25] DeathGar3000: re losing in Iraq LOL
[03:25] DeathGar3000: do Iraqis go "yub yub?"
[03:26] m4775c11: could be, could be...
[03:27] DeathGar3000: so why no outpouring of love for Horse-Man?
[03:28] m4775c11: eh? Horse-Man is great, I love me some Horse-Man I tell you.
[03:29] DeathGar3000: it's like, wow, I thought I had a real winner here, the next Speedball, at least
[03:31] DeathGar3000: speedball was really just too loveley for this world
[03:32] m4775c11: he was named after a mix of cocaine and heroin, but alas no more.
[03:32] DeathGar3000: you mind if I post this conversation ot my blog? I'm feeling lazy

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