Tuesday, January 18, 2005


After yesterday's discussion of the ill-fated Elektra movie, it occurred ot me in passing that they made a huge mistake. Honestly, I know everyone likes Elektra, but her good stories were told so long ago that they've been cribbed mercilessly ever since, to the point where you'd be hard pressed to find any sort of mystical ninja thing that didn't have Frank Miller's faint fingerprints on it, like a copy of a copy of a copy.

No, there is only one Elektra movie that anyone in their right mind has any desire to see:

Have Shinya Tsukamoto direct a straight adaption of Elektra: Assassin. Give him as much money as he wants. Let him make it an NC-17. I guarantee you it will be the most unbelievably, awesomely, unwatchably violent movie ever made.

I really admire Elektra: Assassin, even if it is quite a bad book. It's just so gleefully, unrepentantly, joyfully bad that it approaches a kind of crap-Nirvana. I believe the phrase "retarded masterpiece" could have been coined specifically for it. This is the apex of Western art as conceived by stoned sixteen year olds hanging around behind the metal shop and listening to Slipknot. Awesome.

But seriously, the fact that I have a nice and thick bound copy of Elektra: Assassin sitting on my bookshelf but no Big Numbers makes me weep bitter tears of sadness.

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