Monday, April 28, 2008

The Stupidest Thing I've Seen In A While


I know it's hardly news that Hal Jordan isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. Hell, making fun of Hal for getting bonked on the head is practically a cottage industry in and of itself. And with good reason! Super-hero comics are supposed to be wish-fulfillment on at least some level, right? What can be more frustrating than seeing a character with what is quite literally the most wonderful means of magical wish-fulfillment in all of comics getting knocked out by lamps? I mean, seriously, people. It's enough to make you think that the Guardians are purposefully looking for morons.

But this... this takes the cake. Posting stupid Green Lantern panels is, I know, the most obvious tool in the comic bloggers' repertoire. But still. I think this speaks for itself:



Just a couple issues later Hal saves an exploding planet by inserting giant carbon rods into the core to dampen a nuclear reaction. Uh-huh. From the looks of things they probably had to child-proof the Jordan household to ensure he didn't drink Drain-O with his lunch.

(Admittedly, I am not that big on obscure Green Lantern villains - is the Shark's "invisible yellow aura" a holdover from the Silver Age?)

Friday, April 25, 2008

Top Ten Reasons Why I Love The Rhino Reissue Of
The Replacements' Let It Be




10. You can actually hear the snapping fingers on "We're Coming Out", and not simply vague percussive slaps that could be either cowbells or postalveolar clicks in Zulu.

9. Hey, wait a minute, you mean the Replacements actually have a rhythm section, not just a dull drone in the back of the tinny mix? Wow, Tommy Stinson's actually good.

8. "Androgynous" was supposed to sound like a cavernous nightclub? I could never tell because the previous CD sounded like it was mixed in an airport hanger.

7. There's absolutely nothing ironic in their cover of KISS' "Black Diamond", and it points to the fact that the 'Mats could very well have been arena rock legends if they had chosen to do so. But then again, they had Bob Stinson playing lead guitar like a crush fetishist loose in a pet store, so that's debatable.

6. Is Let It Be the last great 12" release? Look at the side "A" and side "B". I'm hardly a vinyl fetishist - I don't even own a turntable anymore - but even I think it's something of a shame that you don't have to turn the record (or cassette tape!) over between "Black Diamond" and "Unsatisfied".

5. "Seen Your Video" - best music industry kiss-off ever? And right before they signed on the dotted line with Warner Brothers, no less.

4. Every genius album has a real head-scratcher on it that you don't really like but you learn to love anyway - Life's Rich Pageant has "Underneath the Bunker", The Queen Is Dead has "Vicar in a Tutu", and Let It Be has "Gary's Got A Boner". I guess the fact that these bands were still willing to put a song on their album just because it was fuckin' stupid and they got a kick out of playing it says something, because once groups get big heads they lose their sense of humor entirely. The 'Mats never got big, so their sense of humor stayed sharp through until the end.

3. Exile on Main Street my ass - Liz Phair owes Paul Westerberg royalties for the way that half the songs on Exile on Guyville are just "Answering Machine" with different words and worse guitar playing.

2. I've always said that Tim was my favorite 'Mats album - I know, I know - but listening to this new disc raises the distinct possibility that I undervalued Let It Be simply because every CD copy I've ever had of the album has sounded like shit. They say remastered editions of the WB era albums are coming soon - so we shall soon be able to judge for ourselves.

1. Bonus tracks, you say? You've been caught in that boondoggle before? Well, I can live without the "20th Century Boy" cover - just can't warm to Marc Bolan - but there's no good reason why "Perfectly Lethal" couldn't have made the album itself, and their cover of The Grass Roots' "Temptation Eyes", while definitely a little ragged, has the same swagger as their cover of "Black Diamond". (I can see, with that in mind, why it didn't make the album itself.) But Westerberg's solo home demo of "Answering Machine" - that's the real gold. If they had put the demo version on the album, they could have kick-started lo-fi half a decade early, and essentially mooted the entire Sebadoh discography.

Judge for yourself.

Behold, The Uber-Lolz

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Has it Come To This?


So I did one of these. I'm not entirely sold on the format this website uses, but I have to admit it is a nifty gadget all the same. I've been wanting to do something like this for the blog for a while, the only thing standing in the way being my laziness - I know, quelle surprise! If you like it or not, please tell me in the comments: whether I get any good feedback will dictate whether or not I do another one.




Dave Campbell closed up shop. Raise a glass to the man who coined the phrase "Boob War" - something that certainly started as a joke but which actually is the best definition we have for a very real and persistently querulous aspect of the modern comics industry. (I got that last link here, if you're worried - I especially like the one of Harley Quinn giving Batman a lap dance. Classy! Remember: No sex in the champagne room, even if you're Batman.)

Saturday, April 19, 2008

If I Ran The BBC