tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345577.post1329272266770917887..comments2024-03-28T09:53:43.900-04:00Comments on The Hurting: Tegan O'Neilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14815842488966694944noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345577.post-47658466401285035332013-02-15T17:41:09.410-05:002013-02-15T17:41:09.410-05:00This sort of article seems to be popping up more a...This sort of article seems to be popping up more and more lately, and while your is far and away the softest, the general tone of them all seems to be that if you like nerdy things into adulthood, or self-identify as any of the nerd adjectives in question, there is something wrong with you. It ranges, of course, but the argument is generally that if someone likes nerdy things more or in a different way than the author and their friends, then they are complicit with bigotry on par with the Westboro Baptist Church. Every nerd is now a misogynist because Tony Harris drunkenly said some bad things about cosplayers. It baffles me.<br /><br />Are there bad nerds? Good lord yes. It saddens me, but the subculture is not a magical, special place where everyone is nice and happy all the time, and it never was. Some people do indeed lack both social skills and conscience, and have all sorts of unchallenged, half-formed, wrong-headed beliefs. Sadly, these people are particularly loud on the internet, where their behavior has no consequences. I don't defend or justify that. But in my life, many of the kindest, most interesting and intelligent people I've known to some degree or other identify as nerds. And you are right, in the past it was a lot more of an insult than it is now. I would say that's simply language changing, and while it's hardly on par with real oppression, reclaiming the words from bullies so future kids can't have their self-esteem as easily crushed isn't a bad thing.<br /><br />Normally, when people like me rush in to make arguments like this, they're met with pithy dismissals like, "You poor, defensive troll. It's not about YOU." But I have to say, yes, it is. The implication is that because I and people like me are the way we are, something is wrong with us. Why else would anyone like Star Trek? Obviously because they suck at sports and can't get laid. I mean, maybe I'm reading it wrong, but that seems to be the logic there, right? Being introverted, valuing imagination and creativity, that couldn't possibly be right, could it? And really, don't shy, awkward kids have enough to feel bad about without the sort of intelligent people they could grow up into telling them how terrible they are? I know you're not full-on saying nerds suck, but you do conflate the very idea with being pitiable, and of the crowd who makes these arguments, you are the nicest by far. <br /><br />I don't know. I don't have a strongly clannish attachment to nerddom, and while it would be hard to deny I meet a lot of the prerequisites, I see myself as an individual first and wish others would too. I just know what it's like to be that kid, and to be pincered on both sides, by the world at large who just doesn't get you, and then by the academics coming out of the same place as you did, and it seems especially awful to me. Can we just say that it's okay to be different as long as you're not a dick, and no one should be forcibly excluded because we're all in the same boat? That strikes me as better than condemnation.Geekademianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345577.post-48116922651899849322013-02-08T03:28:54.979-05:002013-02-08T03:28:54.979-05:00Pay attention to any comment thread discussing THE...Pay attention to any comment thread discussing THE BIG BANG THEORY and you are likely to see nerds compare themselves to African-Americans living under Jim Crow (perhaps a slight exaggeration, but only slight, considering they coined the term "nerdface"). Being called a nerd is nowhere near as terrible as terrible as being called an actual, honest-to-God racial slur, but the way some nerds talk about themselves you would think they need to be protected by the Southern Law Poverty Center.Timothy O'Neilhttp://twitter.com/timoneil5000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345577.post-4834608736849623482013-02-08T00:03:04.573-05:002013-02-08T00:03:04.573-05:00This is really great piece, Tim.This is really great piece, Tim.Mario McKellopnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345577.post-24568816972469684332013-02-07T21:26:27.193-05:002013-02-07T21:26:27.193-05:00I'll add "to explain is not the same as t...I'll add "to explain is not the same as to accuse." I entirely buy what you're saying as unadulterated and pure of motive, but that paragraph's construction just does it no favours. Listing a bunch of negatives that heavy, then following it up with "but" is inevitably going to 'look' like an excuse.Drakynnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345577.post-59978010272021746202013-02-07T20:52:38.370-05:002013-02-07T20:52:38.370-05:00Y'know, while there's always going to be s...Y'know, while there's always going to be some opprobrium cast on those who like to think too much about Dr. Who and Skyrim and whatnot, I truly, truly believe nerds would have much more social success if they didn't LOOK LIKE NERDS. Can that dude in the PSA look in a mirror at that hat and his facial hair and honestly think "I am WORKIN' IT, BABY!"?<br />I don't know...I've just grown really tired of the "uniforms" subgroups wear, be they nerds, punk rockers, gangstas, middle-aged middle class white dudes (if I never see a balding guy with his hair buzzed cut wearing a t-shirt and shorts...) or whatever.DanielTnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345577.post-5046995495501698522013-02-07T18:51:19.292-05:002013-02-07T18:51:19.292-05:00To explain is not the same as to excuse.To explain is not the same as to excuse.Timothy O'Neilhttp://twitter.com/timoneil5000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345577.post-31936343705223798402013-02-07T14:08:32.878-05:002013-02-07T14:08:32.878-05:00"A funny thing happened at the dawn of the in..."A funny thing happened at the dawn of the internet era. Nerds colonized the internet first. Nerds created the internet."<br /><br />The first person to ever show my a mosiac browser was an ecstasy popping raver girl who was also a journalist. The first person to show me Progidy and explain why it was better than AOL was a closeted lipstick lesbian who specialized in contract law and dated strippers. Because that's who went online early. Then there's my mom, a school librarian who used some sort of telephony <br />web networking for most of her career, and helped establish early <br />computer card catalogs for her district. <br /><br />The internet was created and colonized by DARPA, CERN and FERMILAB, military types, actual scientists, college students and, thanks to Steward Brand and The WELL, techno-hippies. Some may partially identify as nerdy but outside the iconic and fictional scene in War Games a vast number of online users were not like Eddie Deezen. And thanks to The WELL, many of them were women.<br /><br />The web's identity was established by early adopters of all sorts including Suck.dom and the Internet Movie Database and Wired and Dr. Fun and Mondo 2000 and Art Crimes and so on.<br /><br />Though the /b/tards may not admit it, a major influence on modern nerd discourse (including image jokes) was the recaps and discussion boards of Television Without Pity which began as two women writing about Dawson's Creek.<br /><br />It is typical of nerd arrogance, in particular male nerd arrogance, to rewrite history and claim the entire online world as theirs.<br /><br />Prior to the net, many subcultures were less exclusive than those who used them to confirm their special identity thought. It's the problem from punks to Those that were truly underground were so for more substantial or political reasons than that they hadn't matured as quickly as other people. The nerd delusion thinks appreciation of Monty Python or other pop artifact is special knowledge which validates other personal aspects as a subculture rather than an awkward phase people go through. Leading them to see a film about an iconic pop artifact as hollywood stealing or others intruding in nerd culture which wasn't theirs anyway.<br /><br />Alas, the nerd concept of specialness does confuse people who are developing at a slower rate than their peers to let this point define them into adulthood, far more than necessary. They also expand the trauma of teen social conflict - into persecution status rather than an issue to process. <br /><br />Alas this also manifests a deeply ingrained hostility towards women - i.e. the fake geek girl - arising from immature sexual concepts plus resenting women for seeming more socially adjusted although that is gender norms more than confidence.<br /><br />Not even the nerd physical cues are exclusive to nerds. If you've ever hung out with sports fanatics, you know there are basement dwelling, awkward, weird facial hair types who lack an appreciation for certain social cues yet have never played D&D. Wherever people use specialized interests to mitigate social skills there are those misfit types.<br /><br />And I question if the current, angry at fake geek girl nerd, actually merits the term. Fanboys aren't necessarily nerds. To quote Milhouse "I'm not a nerd, nerds are smart."metanerdragenoreply@blogger.com